mollymeek (mollymeek) wrote,

Email from 'Cher

Molly receives an email* from a Math 'cher who calls himself Mr. Milan:

Dearest Molly,

Yipeee!! I'm going to get a $200 offset package for the GST hike which I heard will last for 19 years. I love the gahmen.

I work as a 'cher (couldn't find any of the jobs created by the foreign talents) and I'm going to get a pay increment soon! It's an increment of 0.8%, which means that I get $8 more now for each $1000 I earn. It's a great reward for us 'chers considering that we, like everyone else, are going to have to pay $20 more for every $1000 we spend come July.

What I heard is that there is a dearth of talent (local/foreign) in the education sector and the pay rise is an effort to retain talents in the education sector. Oh come on, the best way to retain us is to ensure that the jobs that pay disgustingly well don't go to people like me, but to foreign talents instead. I'm already very glad to have a job to pay off my loans and I don't expect to get an increment on top of a job! Molly, employment is at an all-time high and you shouldn't be so cynical in your blog entries.

Being a 'cher is great. Even better than being a student. Not only do we get to wake up two hours before the sun rises (imagine those terrible UV rays damaging our skin!) and to go home after the sun sets (no UV rays again!), we also get to enjoy cheap canteen food when we do have time to take our lunch.

These days, 'chers are very service-oriented. For instance, we know that we must be polite to students because they are our customers. E.g.:

Pupil: mr milan, u teach veri slow leh, y u muz show all the baby steps?

['Cher's thoughts: Yeah, perhaps you will get 80/100 instead of your current 8/100 if I go faster.]

'Cher's actual reply: Thanks for your feedback, XXX. Please bear with the speed at which I'm going for Mathematics is not just a matter of getting the final answer. The process is more important. It cultivates patience. We need to do things progressively, especially for the benefit of some of your peers who take a little more time to absorb the lesson.

Pupil: 'Cher, u think we stupid ah? bring flower to class to teach flower structure?!

['Cher's thoughts: Yeah, I should instead bring a lump of sodium and a glass of water to teach you about flower structure.]

Cher's reply: Thank you for your feedback, XXX. I'm bringing in a flower to teach you about flower structure because I hope that the visual aid would enhance your learning experience. If you have any further feedback, please do not hesitate to contact me after the class. Thank you. Does anyone else have any other questions before we start?

Other than learning how to provide good customer service, we 'chers also learn other valuable workplace lessons that will prepare us for other careers (after we retire at 62). For instance, we learn how to handle schizo cases and not agitate them:

HoD: Mr. Milan, it is important for our school to support the "Teach Less, Learn More" philosophy that the MOE endorses. We have been told by the MOE that we must take the initiative to have student-centered learning. We need to encourage student to participate, inspire students to acquire knowledge by themselves and creatively apply the knowledge they gain. We cannot stifle the student's education by spoon-feeding them, but must provide them with a holistic education instead.

HoD alter-ego: Mr. Milan! You must teach the students more things! Bear in mind that they are going to take the 'O' Levels. This means that you need to teach them topics in the 'A' Levels syllabus! You cannot waste time on those activities that do not help them get 9A1's. Ask them to do the fifty-year-series and make sure they know what the model answers are!

That's about it, dearest Molly. I'm going back to mark my papers and come up with my detailed lesson plans before the school holidays end. Thank you.

Mr. Milan, 'Cher


*Content has been modified to protect the innocent, grow the economy and help the poor. The gist of the letter remains the same.
Tags: 'cher, email, milan

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