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To Fix a Mocking Peasant

Evil Kitten Blogs Irresponsibly

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NS is to Help the Poor
One of Singapore's most seditious bloggers, Mr. Wang, posted:

"The writer is wrong to think that only small companies may tend to avoid hiring Singaporean men. The same problem would exist for any job where the individual performs a specialised function such that it isn't easy for someone else to just step in halfway and take over for two or three weeks.

I myself was once asked point-blank at a job interview what kind of SAF vocation I had, how often I would be called up each year, and for how long etc."

This is definitely untrue.

People should understand that just as the GST hike is to help the poor, NS is also to help the poor! (In fact, everything is to help the poor these days. Molly heard that even the proceeds money from defamation suits are donated to charities to help the poor. So molly would argue that the opposition is fixed to hep the poor also).

You have to believe Molly. You see, as the poor are obviously under-achieving people with no motivation, reservist is a chance for them to make some money. That's why an unemployed man can be called to do reservist but it is said that those who earn lots of peanuts are usually not called up. NS not only gives money to the poor, it also trains poor men how to survive in the real world. They learn to bear with it when people hurl abuses at them and their mother's genitals. This will help them cope with the real world where the lousy low-end jobs they are best-qualified to take.

Imagine also how much good it would do a poor family when the son is conscripted for two years. The family will have one mouth less to feed for two year. Or even forever, if the son happens to be dunked into some kind of sauce during some kind of kinky training.

Furthermore, NS helps the economy grow by maximizing productivity: when someone has to go for reservist, he has to finish his normal workload within a shorter period of time. This increases productivity and helps the economy grow. When the economy grows, the lot of the poor will get better.

People need to stop whining and start appreciating all that has been done for their sake!

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Dear Molly,

I am so happy for you. You have seen the white light finally ...

Not only is NS here to help the poor. There are many others we peasants should appreciate, like:

1 million dollar ministerial salaries help the poor because if money is not sucked up by them, the poor can't remain POOR! This one surports our existence as the Poor.

2 the Foreign talents are here to help the poor because they will insult peasants and call us names like " whiners and spoilt brats" so that we will reflect upon ourselves constantly. Good for our mental development and personal growth.

3 lack of freedom of speech helps the poor because you can now talk less and spend more time working to earn your salary. Ups productivity.

4 no gathering of more than 5 people for mischief of any kind. Mischief is bad for the poor because most mischievous acts cause damange of a certain degree. Instead, the poor should just remember that there is only one CHIEF in Singapore. All others are mischiefs.

5 walkovers in elections are also to help the poor because they can save money on transport to the nearest polling centre to vote. Afterall, the bus fares are quite expensive hor. Walkovers got such nice ring to it ... the rich walkover the poor.

6 hip-hop dancing MPs also help the poor because they provide the cheapest (and I do mean CHEAP) form of entertainment the poor can have. Cinema tickets are way too expensive liao.

7 Wee Shu Min and family also help the poor to understand there is a brutal truth that is not taught in the poor kids' syllabus. Only those from GEP are aware of this brutal truth covered in Chapter One of the humanities course.

8 Shin Corp and other losses are also helping the poor because without them, there won't be the 7% GST hike. And we all know how important the GST increase is to the poor. Without it, not so many will jump at the MRT tracks in future.

9 MRT is also helping the poor because they provide a world class venue for your exit out of this miserable world. Other poor people in Africa, India and don't know where else can only die quietly in their little villages. I heard that MRT is studying a new area of business - holding funerals at the deceased's choice of station.

10 In Singapore, everything is to help the poor. Even not helping the poor is also helping the poor.

Thus, I have decided to help the poor. I am going to become the poor. I will stop working and hang around like a leech. Because, in this way, the poor will increase in numbers and the government will help the poor more by increasing the GST to 10% and so forth. And it's all for the poor.

Suzhou Park is also to help the poor. (In China.)

NS is to help the poor (and rich)

NS is definitely here to help the poor!

How else can the State do the following:

1) Develop a WHITE HORSE (TM)(C)(SM) classification system whose sole purpose is NOT to give sons of influential Singaporeans SPECIAL TREATMENT? This helps to reinforce the egalitarian nature of the NS - all are mere expendable digits for Generals to send to their deaths, of course, white horses would be sent last as it involves a lot of time to dig up their personal file to make sure that they DO get sent to the frontline once their WHITE HORSE CLASSIFCATION HAS BEEN VERIFIED

2) Feed the Poor using Taxpayers Funds
Singapore Food Industries and NTUC Foodfare would have no business if the food catering business was not outsourced to them to feed the hungry poor with tax payers funds. How else can the poor get free food served in proper plates and not have to wash up the plates. But during my time, I ate from metal trays and washed up my own plates.

3) Clothe the Poor
SAF no. 4, Police Uniform and Civil Defence uniform made of good material okay! So good that SAF number 4 is favourite among foreign talent who work in construction industry. Very lasting.... Also when wearing No. 4 cannot smoke or else kenna caught by MP (Military Police, you think Member of Parliament so free to catch smokers in SAF no. 4?!) kenna fined!

4) Eliminate the Poor
During active and reservist, the poor (and to be fair, rich too) get to risk being killed through:
a) Dunking for ranger course
b) Vehicle accidents
c) Tank overturn
d) Crushed by Engineering bridging equipment
e) Shot by own recruit during live-firign
f) Chamber explosion during live-firing
g) Suicide due to depression from gf/bf/gay/confinement/etc
h) Collapse during IPPT/SOC/Field Training
i) Weapons/Ammunition malfunction (Think NZ Artillery accident)
j) Knocked down by vehicle doing road marshall for Sheares Bridge run
k) Etc...

Majullah National Service
Duty, Honour, Country...

ROD loh.
Frack the SAF.


Re: NS is to help the poor (and rich)

Maybe SAF is an anti-terrorist organisation with a mission to train suicidal soldiers to fight terrorism. You must learn to die in many situations during training.

One day, we will find one most efficient way to die to tackle the terrorists at their own game.

Our soldiers are dying for a good cause, for the country, unlike those terrorists. They don't even get a little cotton flag.

Re: NS is to help the poor (and rich)

That's a wonderful theory, Aunty! You see ah, all those horrible terrorists want to kill us. But if we kill ourselves/one another, then their plans will be thwarted

Re: NS is to help the poor (and rich)

The White Horse classification was very important. It's another attempt at bridging the rich/poor or elite/peasant gap. After all, it's to ensure that the elite get no special treatment.

Err, Auntxinjiapo and Molly Meek, are you related? Both write so well! so illuminating these pieces! Now, i don't feel so bad since there are so many ways to help us poor. i can si er wu han in poverty!

We are both wel-versed in MIW-speak. It's a wonder we haven't been invited too tea given our talents. (Or maybe Aunty Xinjiapo already has been invited?)

I sense 1981 and Orwell somewhere between the lines...

Paiseh, that's 1984 :)

C'mon! Don't set us back by 22 years! We are far more advanced than 1984. We are 2006.

Heh. Very reminiscent of Lucky Tan.

Nonsense! Lucky Tan is reminiscent of Molly. Lucky Tan how old and Molly how old?

Yeah, reminiscent indeed.

Dying in NS

Hey, you forgot about dying in NS, you also help the poor because they do not pay a lot. If lucky, give you the flag. Really save a lot of money...

And the family can get a few thousand dollars, it has been said.

Got GST tax or not???

I am a loyal fan of Molly. She is my idol idle. ( I always wonder why she got so much free time to write). Molly, just joking hor.

I particularly like the way she disects issues in so many convoluting ways. Even the MIWs can't match her capability.

Unfortunately, both of us haven't been invited to tea leh. Maybe we should offer them a PACKAGE? two-for-price of one peanut?

Molly is hip and I can hop, even at my ripe old age. Molly can wear white tops and I wear only white bottoms. Sure to make the parliament session ratings go sky high.

Or maybe they find us too capable and might one day threaten the familee.

Yeah, the package sounds like a good idea. We can come with additional benefits such as a lifetime warranty against corruption. Unlike some others, each of us only need half a peanuts to stay uncorrupt. But then, it could be due to our value-for-money package that we are disqualified--not elitist enough.

Re: Dying in NS

Wah! the poor in Singapore so good. How come never get corrupted with so little pay or no pay at all.Come on, we poor have to put the MIW theory right, not enough pay, we become corrupted

Er, must clarify hor. The MIW are corrupted by peanuts, not pay.

So we don't have chance to be corrupt.

But I'm trying to grow a big mole on my face to attain some elite-ness first before taling about corrupting. You must be elite then can corrupt.

I thought it's the peanuts that prevent them from becoming corrupt?

The poor are not even capable of being corrupt. They are just leeches.

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