mollymeek

I need to stop overthinking song lyrics.

Because MM's new song lyrics are getting to me. >_> Like below...

夢は全部真剣だから大人になる条件を教えて欲しい　--> Yes please.

なんちゃって恋愛をしたとこで寂しくなるだけ　それなのに温もりを感じたくなる --> Somehow the closer I get to others, the more distant I become at the same time. So...this makes sense.

ああ何でなんだろう私　素直に甘えられない　お母さんに電話したい --> Yeah...

なんちゃって 良いヤツを演じても虚しくなるだけ　それなのに適当に　愛想笑い --> Pretty much how I feel like sometimes. Especially at work. But that's a different case. >_>

なんちゃって色々と言うけれど輝きたいだけ　私にもなれるかしら　本物に --> Maybe, somehow, someday...

Maybe, just maybe.

後は何するの？
私何を求めてるの？
Ah Yeah
愛が足りない

Life has been busy, as usual - for all the talk about the economic slow down, somehow we seem to be working harder than ever. The commencement ceremony (yes I have officially graduated from my post-graduate programme) was last week, and I arranged for the studio shoot on the same weekend so that we can get it all over and done with. My French class started the week I returned from Hong Kong, and it has been quite fun so far. And of course, this coming week I'll be starting class (hopefully) in Business Mandarin.  I am hoping to pick up Spanish soon too, because it is looking increasingly likely that I'll take a six month break next year and I am hoping to make it to South America for that period.

So yah, I can't seem to just slow down and relax in the typical manner. Friends have been commenting that I am pushing myself too hard so I am (really!) trying to slow down. A Sunday afternoon spent sitting in a quiet MacDonalds revising French, reading On Photography by Susan Sontag, and planning for my South American trip is relaxing, yes?

( Hong Kong, Macau & Photos!!  )</div>

Please head over to this page and vote for @Angelmiao as Singapore's top Animal Twitterer!!

Banned by Singapore for normalizing homosexuality, according to Straight Times.

I think for that reason alone, I'd want to watch this.
 

We're done.



so. A new chapter begins.

mum, i think i m turning straight.

thank u lord buddha for all the hentais in japan. amen

It has been just over a year since I last came back to Singapore and the time spent away from home is hard to describe. The days when I am in school buried beneath papers and responsibilities, I don’t notice the hours that slip by, but when my work is done and a silence descends around me time seems to stretch and slow down the seconds ticking away like falling dew drops. It is during moments like these that I struggle to find something to occupied the heavy emptiness that surrounds me.

The emptiness that I feel is not so much devoid of feeling but rather a disconnection. My life in the US is filled with activities and friends, proven by the many pictures of parties and trips that plaster the interface of facebook but however, there are times when I am in a room full of people but feel that I am the only one there. Like the frayed ends of two wires that are barely touching, my feet are on the ground but I feel like I am floating.

It is this strange, uncertain and ambiguous feeling that draws me back to the shores of Singapore each year, a strange concept because many Singaporeans try to do the exact opposite, the try to leave a country they feel is too restricted and lacks opportunities.

Coming back this time marks the longest time I have ever been away from home and walking down Orchard road I am amazed that even though it has only been a year how much has changed since I have been away. Tall, unfamiliar buildings seem sprouted from the corners and stare down at me with their hollow glass eyes. Their bodies’ angular, cold and artificial but still draws crowds in with the lure of shiny things that promises to better their lives, or at least that is the lie that they tell themselves. You can barely tell that we are in a recession with shoppers bustling from mall to mall their arms heavy with purchases.

As the doors of these new malls, continue to inhale and exhale people onto the streets, I continue to search for sometime familiar, a spot preserved and untouched by the whirlwind of constructions that has swept the streets. Life in Singapore is so busy that not even the buildings sit still.

Returning home also meant immersing myself back into gay culture on this tiny red islands and despite the outwardly draconian appearance of Singapore, gay life in Singapore continues to flourish and grow. Some familiar faces and many new ones crowd the laser lit dance floor at PLAY as glasses slosh and bodies gyrate to thumping beats. I scan the darken horizon and realize that age has certainly settled in. No longer do I find that I am the youngest in the crowd, replaced by a plethora of teens dress in skinny shorts and androgynous t-shirts but also I no longer find that I am able to keep up with the rapid music and energy that swells with high pitched screams and frantic hands. However, I am contented and still take the stage when a familiar song comes on. I welcome age and am hopefully in a generation that has emerged confident of their sexuality.

However, change within the confines of a space may not necessarily signal change aboveground. As a population we have become more visible, with the AWARE saga, an incident which called into question the secularity of Singapore and Pink Dot Sg, the first public LGBT gathering in support of the freedom to love. But as these events create awareness and encourage empowerment, internally the safety nets that hold our community seemed to have lost a few strands and creak dangerously under the weight of pressure. Two disturbing observations I have made since coming back is that one, ABSOULTE now serves alcohol during its monthly roof top foam parties and two, the use of recreational drugs during sex has risen.

It concerns me that a sauna is serving alcohol because of how accessible sex is. Alcohol impairs the judgment of people and unlike in the clubs where if you get wasted you still need to be hauled back to a convenient location for the deed to be done but in a bathhouse, all you need to do is go downstairs. So serving alcohol in bathhouses potentially creates a scenario whereby a person gets drunk and is conveniently hauled off to a room and what happens behind closed doors is anyone’s guess.

The rise of recreational drugs such as ecstasy and ice is not based on statistics that I have gather, probably because there are none, but rather through various sources and word of mouth. It is spoken with nonchalance and an admitted fact among our circle. This surprises me because of the severity of the laws that govern the use of drugs but still it does not deter those that seek a high during sex.

I was speaking with someone from AFA and although we both agree that the use of drugs increase the likelihood in risky behavior but trying to create an outreach campaign proves tricky because it means admitting that the gay community uses drugs and because AFA is funded partly by the government they can’t be seen as promoting a homosexual ‘lifestyle’ or admitting that gay people take drugs. But gay people do take drugs, so I am a little puzzled as to why we are dancing around a white elephant.

What does this mean for the crowd at PLAY? As the young come out younger and become more willing to plunge into a culture that worships their youth and is fueled by the desires of popularity, the pressures and temptations that they face will be a lot stronger. So what will the outcome be? Will they be able to map out a guide to avoid the alleys and cracks in the pavement? No one knows for sure but what we do know is that we place hope the youth because they signify a change in attitudes, ones cultivated from the awareness and education raised by activists before them. It is this change in mindset that we look towards for a better and more open Singapore.

Majulah Singapura

I am spazzing over one single moment in this little preview.

愛ちゃん最高！

...I need to be less obsessive but eh. XD

All those brought up in the US in the 50's and 60's will remember the kingle that starts: "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner..." Sounds like a strange thing to want to be, really. You have a short enough shelf life and then someone eats you.

Something else that has a short life is the advertising vehicle the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. I suppose that didn't come with mustard and relish...

Who wants to read Briar Rose/Snow White slash? It's sad and heart-wrenching, dark, the perfect antidote to the whitewashed fairytale. I was in the mood for this kind of story.

Memories Of You Being Beautiful by the_suit_case

Spotted while we're on the way back to the office.
8 flags on the roof!


stickers everywhere!



check out the grosteque hand sticking out from the window!


happy national day!

Is that a date?

http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=218&sid=1479797&pid=30

Getting the Skinny
A White's Tree Frog perches on the hand of biologist Matt Evans, at the National Zoo in Washington, on Monday, May 11, 2009. This frog's skin produces a peptide that can help deter HIV. Frog species are in danger from the spread of a chytrid fungus that is killing amphibians at an alarming rate. The Amphibian Rescue and Conservation Project, announced Monday May 11, 2009, hopes to stop the spread of the fungus and includes eight zoos and research institutions including the Smithsonian Institution. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

these are a few of my favourite things....

http://community.livejournal.com/yaoi_daily/5582478.html

http://community.livejournal.com/yaoi_daily/5583404.html

http://community.livejournal.com/yaoi_daily/5584498.html

From Dr. Sketchys

"In response to conservative criticism that the legislation could lead to charges against those who speak out against gay rights, Mr. Leahy added a provision banning prosecution for exercising the rights of free speech."

Is there similar provision protecting say Ku Klux Klan against speaking out against Blacks?

Conservative. Must be another term for a certain segment of christians. Why is religion so privileged?