mollymeek (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mollymeek) wrote,@ 2007-08-21 00:51:00 |
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Alternative Rally: Bhimbo Day Rally
Molly doesn’t really feel like commenting much on the National Day Rally at this point. After the satisfying meal of mee siam sans hum last year, the PM was probably energized enough to thoroughly rehearse his speech for 2007 under the watchful eye of his mentors, image consultants, makeover artists, etc (if any). Molly wanted to say something about implicit (but not very subtle) justification of high ministerial salaries (income gap not only between high and low, but also between high and high). But perhaps time is more productively spent slapping effigies. Instead of a commentary on the National Day Rally, Molly pens her own imaginary alternative rally speech addressed to a non-existent audience. It will only be in one language for she doesn’t want to stimulate the imagination of the ever-suspicious public who might start wondering about things like why a speech in Malay deals with dysfunctional families and terrorism while a speech in Chinese deals with business.
The National Bhimbo (Bimbo + Himbo) Rally
Dear bimbos, himbos and all interested,
Singapore’s prospects have never been better. But, what about Singaporeans’ prospects?
Day after day, statistics promising us a better life make their way to our eyeballs and our eardrums. Many jobs are created. There are many opportunities for Singaporeans. Welfare is bad, but we have a GST hike to help the poor. You can work for as long as you wish, which is as long as you live. You will wish to work because you won’t want to be broke.
Do some Singaporeans live in a different Singapore from the one painted in the mainstream media?
Ever since a certain event in 2006, prices goods have been going up. Since July this year, we have been paying more GST. We have been paying more for lots of other things. We will possibly be paying more for even more things like bus trips with bus companies that tell you that long waits have been eliminated because you can find out online that the next bus you can possibly catch will come 35 minutes later.
Other than the financial health of Singaporeans, there is also concern about the political health of Singaporeans—the people’s basic rights to expression, the people’s rights to information.
We are supposed to be open and inclusive; we are culturally vibrant and we embrace the arts; we are world-class at world-class pretenses.
If you make a film that offers a perspective of history not taught in our textbooks, your work stands to be banned.
If you are gay and you want to organize an event like a picnic or a jog, you might not get permission and you might even get exposed to police scrutiny.
If your claim to be an NSman who have lost time and job opportunities because of the mandatory “duties” you have to perform, you are probably a liar because there are equal opportunities for everyone in Singapore.
If you are an opposition politician who manages to get a seat in the Parliament, it’s basically a losing 1 against 80 fight, which is often also a fight of Reasonable Disagreements VS. Warped Logic and Vacuumed Rhetoric.
If you are an opposition politician who fails to get a seat in the Parliament and who tries to resort to tactics of protest that are common in most respectable democracies, I don’t know what can possibly happen to you . . .
If you not a politician, but you take part in a Freedom March or something like that, . . . I don’t know what can possibly happen to you either . . .
If you are a suicide who jumped down the MRT tracks, you are . . . well, you are merely not newsworthy. Not anymore.
If you want to watch something on TV other than the National Day Parade or Rally, get a cable subscription, which, incidentally, is now more expensive than before.
If you live in Hougang or Potong Pasir, remember to consult a doctor about the health of your joints before voting in the General Elections.
If you are a magazine and you feature something considered to be politically radical (that is, something which Straits Times journalists would not be caught dead writing), you can be banned and your owners sued.
Someone said in a speech that if you want a lawyer, you go for the best (which he presumes to be the most expensive) and not the cheapest. He probably forgot that certain people, such as the Far Eastern Economic Review guys, had been denied access to the great lawyers they were willing to pay for.
I am sorry, though, to say that I’m not here to offer any solutions. I will not be able to offer solutions even if you pay me more than you are paying your Prime Minister.
*Blink a few times as if to hold back tears*
Ask yourself: Do you want to continue living in the sort of place that Singapore is and is becoming? How would you face your children if they grow up wishing that their mother was a devout practitioner of abortion?
*Reach for tissue paper*
I don’t know about you, but if I have children, I have no idea how I’m going to face them. In fact, I don’t even know how to face myself for my failure to get out of a place that is so uninhabitable for bimbos.
*Dab eyes with tissue paper*
We are globalizing, just like every decent city out there. Then why do I still prefer to be elsewhere?
When you don’t want something, you are told that it’s a fact of life everywhere. Can’t be helped.
When you want something that you would be entitled elsewhere, you are told that Singapore is not ready for it.
*Dab eyes with tissue paper*
Casinos are fine. Free speech isn’t.
Taxpayers’ money can be spent on educating people and prevent gambling problems.
Taxpayers’ money cannot be spent on educating people and preventing speech problems.
You are free. You can’t be free.
We are open. We can’t be open.
We are aphasic. We have to talk.
*Exit dramatically. Run to backstage while using the back of one palm to wipe tears away*
Come to think of it, maybe Molly needs to redraft the script. The tissue paper is probably a redundant prop. In the melodramas of the mid-sixties, good acting was when you could cry and move the audience. These days, award-winning performances have to be more understated. This is even more pertinent here because Molly has to move her audience without eroding the intrinsically farcical nature of her script. On the other hand, the farcical aspects of the script cannot overwhelm the authenticity of the angst and desperation.
*Sigh*
Molly doesn’t really feel like commenting much on the National Day Rally at this point. After the satisfying meal of mee siam sans hum last year, the PM was probably energized enough to thoroughly rehearse his speech for 2007 under the watchful eye of his mentors, image consultants, makeover artists, etc (if any). Molly wanted to say something about implicit (but not very subtle) justification of high ministerial salaries (income gap not only between high and low, but also between high and high). But perhaps time is more productively spent slapping effigies. Instead of a commentary on the National Day Rally, Molly pens her own imaginary alternative rally speech addressed to a non-existent audience. It will only be in one language for she doesn’t want to stimulate the imagination of the ever-suspicious public who might start wondering about things like why a speech in Malay deals with dysfunctional families and terrorism while a speech in Chinese deals with business.
The National Bhimbo (Bimbo + Himbo) Rally
Dear bimbos, himbos and all interested,
Singapore’s prospects have never been better. But, what about Singaporeans’ prospects?
Day after day, statistics promising us a better life make their way to our eyeballs and our eardrums. Many jobs are created. There are many opportunities for Singaporeans. Welfare is bad, but we have a GST hike to help the poor. You can work for as long as you wish, which is as long as you live. You will wish to work because you won’t want to be broke.
Do some Singaporeans live in a different Singapore from the one painted in the mainstream media?
Ever since a certain event in 2006, prices goods have been going up. Since July this year, we have been paying more GST. We have been paying more for lots of other things. We will possibly be paying more for even more things like bus trips with bus companies that tell you that long waits have been eliminated because you can find out online that the next bus you can possibly catch will come 35 minutes later.
Other than the financial health of Singaporeans, there is also concern about the political health of Singaporeans—the people’s basic rights to expression, the people’s rights to information.
We are supposed to be open and inclusive; we are culturally vibrant and we embrace the arts; we are world-class at world-class pretenses.
If you make a film that offers a perspective of history not taught in our textbooks, your work stands to be banned.
If you are gay and you want to organize an event like a picnic or a jog, you might not get permission and you might even get exposed to police scrutiny.
If your claim to be an NSman who have lost time and job opportunities because of the mandatory “duties” you have to perform, you are probably a liar because there are equal opportunities for everyone in Singapore.
If you are an opposition politician who manages to get a seat in the Parliament, it’s basically a losing 1 against 80 fight, which is often also a fight of Reasonable Disagreements VS. Warped Logic and Vacuumed Rhetoric.
If you are an opposition politician who fails to get a seat in the Parliament and who tries to resort to tactics of protest that are common in most respectable democracies, I don’t know what can possibly happen to you . . .
If you not a politician, but you take part in a Freedom March or something like that, . . . I don’t know what can possibly happen to you either . . .
If you are a suicide who jumped down the MRT tracks, you are . . . well, you are merely not newsworthy. Not anymore.
If you want to watch something on TV other than the National Day Parade or Rally, get a cable subscription, which, incidentally, is now more expensive than before.
If you live in Hougang or Potong Pasir, remember to consult a doctor about the health of your joints before voting in the General Elections.
If you are a magazine and you feature something considered to be politically radical (that is, something which Straits Times journalists would not be caught dead writing), you can be banned and your owners sued.
Someone said in a speech that if you want a lawyer, you go for the best (which he presumes to be the most expensive) and not the cheapest. He probably forgot that certain people, such as the Far Eastern Economic Review guys, had been denied access to the great lawyers they were willing to pay for.
I am sorry, though, to say that I’m not here to offer any solutions. I will not be able to offer solutions even if you pay me more than you are paying your Prime Minister.
*Blink a few times as if to hold back tears*
Ask yourself: Do you want to continue living in the sort of place that Singapore is and is becoming? How would you face your children if they grow up wishing that their mother was a devout practitioner of abortion?
*Reach for tissue paper*
I don’t know about you, but if I have children, I have no idea how I’m going to face them. In fact, I don’t even know how to face myself for my failure to get out of a place that is so uninhabitable for bimbos.
*Dab eyes with tissue paper*
We are globalizing, just like every decent city out there. Then why do I still prefer to be elsewhere?
When you don’t want something, you are told that it’s a fact of life everywhere. Can’t be helped.
When you want something that you would be entitled elsewhere, you are told that Singapore is not ready for it.
*Dab eyes with tissue paper*
Casinos are fine. Free speech isn’t.
Taxpayers’ money can be spent on educating people and prevent gambling problems.
Taxpayers’ money cannot be spent on educating people and preventing speech problems.
You are free. You can’t be free.
We are open. We can’t be open.
We are aphasic. We have to talk.
*Exit dramatically. Run to backstage while using the back of one palm to wipe tears away*
Come to think of it, maybe Molly needs to redraft the script. The tissue paper is probably a redundant prop. In the melodramas of the mid-sixties, good acting was when you could cry and move the audience. These days, award-winning performances have to be more understated. This is even more pertinent here because Molly has to move her audience without eroding the intrinsically farcical nature of her script. On the other hand, the farcical aspects of the script cannot overwhelm the authenticity of the angst and desperation.
*Sigh*
