Gahmen Comes Up with Brilliant Way to Help the Poor
Yes, yes. Dear readers probably haven't read a really pro-establishment article from Molly for months already. Not to worry. The good old pro-establishment Molly is back. (Well, you see, it's getting quite dangerous to be anti-establishment these days despite the so-called light touch on the Internet.)
Anyway, it's difficult to be anti-establishment when the gahmen comes up with a million-dollar (or more) way to help the poor. As everyone know, ever since the Parliament opened shop, the post-65 people there have been talking about the social divide and rich-poor gap, as if they didn't know the social divide has existed till dear Ms. Wee Shu Min enlightened her peers.
Anyway, the most important message that we peasants are meant to get is not that the income gap will be narrowed. Fat Hope. The most important message to get is that the gahmen, especially the special group of post-65 MPs, are very concerned about the poor. This doesn't mean that they want the poor to become rich. Heaven forbid! Poor people who become rich won't know how to cope. That's why the gahmen is going to help poor people remain poor and be able to cope with their poverty. For instance, since poor people are getting poorer, we cannot expect them to buy five-roomed flats (let alone condominiums), so we will have more one- and two-roomed flats for them to buy or rent. The rich can get richer while the poor get more one-roomed flats.
Of course, that isn't quite enough to help the poor. In order to be able to help the poor, the gahmen needs resources. So, the idea is to get the poor to help themselves! (Now, who's the minister who said that? Was it Vivian or someone else? Those who know please tell Molly because Molly doesn't want to be sued for plagiarizing such an original idea.)
How do we get people to help themselves?
Molly doesn't know. But she thinks the gahmen knows already. To get people to help themselves, the gahmen will take money from the people so that the gahmen can use the money to help the people. Confusing? Let Molly simplify the money flow:
People ---> Gahmen ---> Gahmen Help/"Safety Net"
Ah, this is actually nothing new in the world. But the gahmen is clever. It will increase GST to 7%!!!
Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to CNA,
"While Singapore's current model to tackle the widening income gap is sound, [Prime Minister] Mr Lee said the government will take on 2 approaches to deal with the new environment - to strengthen the safety nets and tilt the balance in favour of the lower-income groups who do not benefit from the fruits of economic growth.
To do this, government spending will have to go up. The government now spends some 15 percent of its GDP - one of the lowest in the world."
See, Singapore's current adamantly anti-welfarist non-model to tackle the widening income gap is sound! (Of course it's sound! We hear about it all the time without touching it. And you know people hear sound.)
And what's the gahmen going to do to strengthen the whatever net and tilt the whatever (im)balance?
""This [gahmen spending] is inevitable over the next 5 to 10 years - infrastructure investments will cost money - R&D is to cost $5b over the next 5 years; as medical technology improves, people age and more will go to hospital to get more treatment so spending is bound to go up. As we tilt the playing field across the board, the lower income will be getting another boost not just once in awhile. Therefore its better to start building resources now so that when we spend more," said Mr Lee."
Spend money in infrastructure and R&D build a Biopolis bubble to strengthen safety nets. The connection is not very clear, but the PSI is nearing 50 now. It's probably thanks to the Indonesian forest fires that Molly is unable to see the connections.
What will the GST hike do for peasants?
""It will give us precious extra resources to implement social programmes like Workfare later on. Our aim is to help the lower income groups and the elderly, not to increase their burdens. When we implement the GST increase, it's not just the GST increase, it's the package which will fully offset the impact of the GST increase and begin to strengthen the social safety nets and tilt the balance in favour of the low income groups - we will not just raise the GST but we will have a comprehensive offset package," said Mr Lee."
GST hike to implement Workfare. In short, the solution for the poor peasant's poverty comes in a few simple steps:
1. You take any job. Don't be fussy. Don't complain about inhumane wages. Take any job and work for a number of months every year. Even if you lose one job, find another one.
2. With the wages you have from your job, you pay extra GST for essential items. (Well, don't tell me you want to pay for non-essential items. Your purpose in life is to stay alive and contribute to the labor force. Even the rich won't bother to spend so much on luxury items thanks to GST!)
3. With the extra GST collected from you, the gahmen will come up with some ways to give you a few bucks for doing Step 1.
4. Continue the cycle.
Yes, it's a bit abstract. It's like those reincarnation cycles in Buddhist philosophy. You go through one cycle after another until perhaps you attain Nirvana, i.e. one day you conveniently die off (maybe with the help of SMRT) never to come back again. OK, sorry. Molly doesn't understand Buddhist philosophy at all. She's just crapping. Let's go back to the issue of PM Lee's package. I mean, the package he mentioned. He talked about a comprehensive package but while Molly entirely trusts that it is a comprehensive package, she finds it none too comprehensible. What package???
PM Lee tries to explain but Molly still doesn't understand:
"It is not just an offset package to deal with the GST. It is a whole set of measures which we are taking in order to tilt the playing field in favour of the lower income group, which is what we have to add and tally in the balance, and my purpose is to help the lower income group."
First, he says it is an offset package (i.e. a package to offset the GST). Then he says that the offset package is not just an offset package. So it's a package that exceeds itself? That's very abstract. Molly thinks have a postmodern Parliament.
Anyway, allow Molly to attempt to simplify the idea. I guess the basic idea is that the offset package is called an offset package because it isn't going to do much more.
The idea is to take money from you, then "offset" whatever is taken from you. And it will be more than just an offset.
OK. Let Molly = gahmen.
Molly takes $5 from you.
Molly gives you $5.07 (note, of course, that $5 is worth more when Molly takes it from you thanks to this thing called inflation).
Molly tells the whole world how generous she is to give you $5.07. It will seem as though this more than offsets whatever Molly has taken.
Because you get $5.07, you are supposed to worship Molly and vote for her in 2011.
Isn't that cool? Molly shall write a book entitled, "A Very Short Introduction to the Singapore Gahmen." The gahmen is always full of fascinating ideas and rhetoric. Just like when PM Lee tells us what he isn't going to do:
"I'm not going to tax 15% on income tax, I'm not going to tax 25% from GST the way the Scandanavians do, but I have to make the adjustments of 2% which I think is fair and I think Singaporeans will support," said Mr Lee."
And why isn't PM Lee going to tax 15% on income? Well, it's not a good idea to increase income tax for the elite who make lots of money.
Why is PM Lee not going to implement a 25% GST? Well, he doesn't want the population to be decimated because of starvation.
Look what he's going to do! Molly quotes again: "I have to make the adjustmentS of 2%." (Emphasis Molly's.)
Adjustments! Well, you know, it's like the bus fare hike idea. You increase a bit every year so that people will be inured adapt well. That's very considerate of the gahmen. Indeed, it is connecting with the people!
As the CNA reports, "Mr Lee explained that it is better to do the increase now when the economy is doing well, rather than wait till later." Later when what? Later when the economy isn't going well? Is PM Lee anticipating another economic downturn??!! Otherwise, if the economy will be doing well later, why not implement the GST hike later???
Oh no! If the gahmen that can never be wrong hints of another economic downturn, then it has to be true!! Oh my gosh! Luckily we have a million-dollar gahmen that will always help us.
Or maybe it's like the bus fare hike idea again. Better to do it now than later for whatever reasons...
And, yes. PM Lee mentioned adjustmentS in the plural. So you can expect 2% after 2% and eventually we will be like the Scandinavians. Then we can boast of a world-class GST system.
And attract more foreign talents.
The news today is just a warm-up. The full news will be announced next year on Budget Day.
Darn, there will be 4 more years between 2007 and 2011. Wonder if they will give out ERS to buy offset the hike.
Most intriguing bit of the news though is this:
"Another change will be the amending of the Constitution to allow the government to tap the capital gains received from investing the national reserves."
Amend the constitution again? And allow the gahmen to tap the capital gains? Tap the capital gains to do what? Buy Molly chocolates? Very puzzling. Or tap the capital gains to help the poor? (If that's the case, why do we need a GST hike anyway?)
Yours truly
Molly Meek, la Bimbo Satirique
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